Mental Illness

In Notes:

Loneliness in your own mind why are we like this a never ending  process of self doubt and despair. Never to be compatible with social construct, a constant fight of depression and dark thoughts against yourself. There are no holidays from yourself and the damage that other people conflict. Found myself Easily used for the will of other people. Attracting the dominant never fitting into any relationship. Never finding it easy to make friends and for the most comfortable to live without as this is less complicated.

 

There is no independence constantly fatigued with the side effects of medication that does not end. Taking medication just to live with people around me always aware of relapses and this means, psychosis and the need for hospitalisation. Personally I have a good recover rate but many don’t. The lowest days thoughts of suicide are constant I believe this is the most selfish thing a person could do but there is no way to avoid contemplating it.

 

Therapy though writing and creating art work makes the biggest difference but it is really difficult To be recognised in these fields I love photography to mostly avoid taking images of people, I have been pushing myself on this aspect. Start with self portraits then get people involved when you grasp the best of your camera.

 

Computers are a God send to express yourself more freely to get lost in ideas other than watching television being brainwashed. My first computer was a scheme Lenored Cheshire promoted. I created a office space where I was most comfortable, started teaching myself web design this took me to different worlds in my mind elevating stress. My advice to anyone is to buy a nice notebook and a expensive pen even just to doodle with odd words this will carry you forward. The saying goes if you put your problems into words that’s half the battle. And this is true also to help other people the more public you are the more elevation, At first networking scared the hell out of me but don’t be afraid to express yourself just be kind at heart.

 

There is to much injustice in this world don’t be part of it we all have the dream of winning the lottery buying land and building houses for all our family to live as a community or is that just me? In your darkest moments you cannot see or feel the love for you. It is almost impossible but people do care. Psychiatric nurses and psychiatrists are there to help do not fight them, you are unique and a very special person and I would know that you are.

 

~ Nicholas Leslie ~

Angels Are You All

Are we alive find your imagination folding time,

Never banished these dreams erased in mazes.

Submission to freedom no more fresh air, care.

 

Completely seeing no more blood, stones in hate,

Passing by the lies bring, the days can call to me now.

 

Weaving the words finding one last night back again,

Caress bring it to the lost now no more pain child.

As we never grow old lost to the last times of the book.

 

Story’s telling empierces breaking chains of gold,

We unique billions your own atmospheres consciousness.

These drums will beat hordes of the death forgiveness.

 

Locking, looking we spoke of changes clouds disappear,

Came forth this world waking Gods angels are you all.

Darkness claims many, lost in ways of peace.

 

Death is no passing us by lost to incandescence lies,

This is no resolution as they bring revaluation.

Follow your own mind and heart, wake up.

 

Emptiness will conquer with no reasons for no one,

Mothers grasp the virgin birth in no difference you the miracle.

We are born atoms of light never forget do not torture yourself.

 

I reach to you broken hearts there is a tomorrow love fades,

Rebirth upon waters of life hold fast memories who we are.

Upon the same the pain, take away your confusion the primal scream.

 

Careful walking this night fantasy becoming reality be with peace,

Take the broken pieces gather your strength forgive and move.

Made of the universe never to denied but for you.

 

The warriors are your spirit history telling you no other,

Through lands never claimed walking in freedom.

Sunsets on these words again peace be with you.

 

 © Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII Progressive Poetry

Bring Tomorrow

I want you here with me share the love missing pieces of my heart,

In the life poetic I share thoughts in darkness grasping for the light.

We see your pain grasping take it away I will talk to you cry with you.

 

A cut flower dies a slow death screaming for mercy are we life,

On this cross-no thorn to beckon light we forgive return the light.

I kill myself on the days in nothingness that gives life upon.

 

To history we travel the bank-side of words this is the secret,

Walking pathways of change call yourself you are love.

Lost mothers watch over you we are at peace tonight.

 

Memory’s that are never told this justifies the song of man,

Women your angelic many forms learning from our birth.

Carried with fastness my dripping blood across pathways.

 

Can you see we can eclipse hate and fear tell the tails,

Severance paying the fair times you are in my heart.

Reach for your light seeing you in despair bring tomorrow.

 

Fear takes you come back to me this softness grasping thoughts,

Hawk fly’s across midnight once more can we help this suffering.

I have seen this dark night chased by death do not fear.

 

Human across this atmosphere be free.

 

 

 

 

© Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII Progressive Poetry

 

 

 

Your Presence

Bring back my innocence cannot live with this world,

Walking on my grave ashes to shore never more.

I can see the end of the rope your never alone my survivor.

 

Love taken from our hearts channelling souls take away this pain,

Can as you should help falling to the street in lights of this way.

Coming pathways, we know we passed the great fires of hell.

 

Regrets contaminated thoughts have mercy Jesus we see God,

Comfort in aspirations is this the only way we can see.

Saying goodbye never easy notions of change.

 

Wars built on greed no more suffering of these nations,

Let dark matter come forth concave hate to nothingness.

Let love live again as it was ever of search people.

 

Hold my heart now do not cry happiness is the belief,

Do not hide believe yourself we can heal mankind.

I miss you this distance wide open skies for you to fly.

 

Walking corridors that never give angels a chorus today,

Slight mirrors building this home feeling your presence.

Dreams no more time we are open I ask you here now.

 

I lost to love reprise I found my angel never give up hope,

You are brave never forget absolute value of you.

Blackness times define the love to have never loose hope.

 

 

© Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII Progressive Poetry

Yemen, Banished Dreams

Climbing to death nowhere where we are, look in the mirror

Seared through light this darkness forces ripple time.

Imagination never proceeds, step from the clouds no dream.

 

Contamination of the mind this can be asked the sharp point of truth,

I can see you passing by in the shadows this infinity calls me.

Blindness no more curse forgive the self this last moment.

 

This destruction never ends starved of love these people,

Lost the hope as you stand and watch starvation.

Complicity to this demise blood on your hands.

 

Take me from this cruel world I want know more,

Just to say I care images banished dreams of peace.

We are truly lost on these deep seas of darkness.

 

As we slowly choke to death on pollution,

The time as have we lost the answer is yes,

We are born naked to this world for moments to learn.

 

Time is no more…

 

© Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII Progressive Poetry

Lyrics, We Have the Blues,

We have the blues…..

Want you to love me slow

Ba-bys gone out of town

Want you to love me slow till dawn.

where is my babes I’m a sad man

Love me and slow

Ba-bys out of town this is the blues

this shack of mine empty and old

I want you to love me long and slow

My woman  out of town.

shaking a whole lot of tail feathers.

Ba-bys gone out of town

my love for you is strong.

Want you to love me slow and long.

© Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII

 

Kurt Cobain

Upon the rock of your heart falling stars where we meet,

Grasping the loneliness of darkness in the mind.

You came this digital pulse entered the mind said.

 

History follows you as rain clouds never more tonight.

Wishing skies found you rest in peace and love.

Illness grasps the very core this depression.

 

Holding fast to memory selling sandy shores,

Our families ripped apart where are you farther.

Hope this mercy calling the names of God.

 

Colliding setting suns where is justice on man,

Crowding thoughts we have this now.

Do not waver these demons took you.

 

Parting sorrows fall as snow drops on landscapes,

The sun will rise once more these hours pass.

Holding in my arms freedom to people now.

kurt

Life passes in seconds of no fear of the unknown,

Create these miracles one by one we are human.

Say your words silence has you now we forgive the loss.

 



© Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII Progressive Poetry, Fragmented

Mind

Encapsulated from this ground lands to shore you gave more.

Heavy horses ride the ways to these skies no darkness.

Come from your knees there is daylight today forevermore.

The body falls to dust called freedom this is heaven.

 

Remembering your power holding fast these long days.

Traveling through your pain cast it away euphoric ideas.

Gained life never to be mistaken thankfulness key.

 

I see you angel’s warmth on cold winters senses pass.

These writers’ tears will not be forgotten engraved to the mind.

Kindred all people can we surpass the fear never lost.

 

Visiting spirits communication this of the living I hold you.

Ride your electricity onuses give away you are welcome.

Leave with love we are alone existence universe sent.

 

Reach out hold your heart this precious time.

The chorus calls this distance never broken steel.

Give all see everything dear ones open your heart.

 

© Nicholas Leslie MMXVIII